Thursday, December 10, 2015

Update #7

Last weekend we went back to our old haunt... The Islamic Restaurant... got some takeaway too. Then I caught a cold so the rest of the weekend was pretty dull . Went to the mall for s's haircut yesterday? Or was it the day before? Went to the mall today for some vacation shopping. Got stuck there because it was pouring outside. Sat in CBTL for a while and people on both sides of me were having the craziest conversations.

I haven't even started on my list yet,  forget packing! Lots of stuff to do tomorrow.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Update #6

So by the weekend arrived, my nerves were completely frayed and it actually took me a whole week to realize why: Sarah was home for her winter break!  Yeah,  that's what having two kids does to your brain.  Sarah,  when you grow up and read this, don't feel bad. You'll know when you have your own 3 year old in sha Allah :p So much energy in such a little human being!  Also... The talking... I thought NAK was exaggerating and being unfair when he was talking about how much his girls talk... now I totally understand.

Anyway it being husband's birthday, I made biryani and baghare timatar and it turned out 👌 alhamdulillah. I also indulged myself in some retail therapy buying gifts and stuff for myself. On Sunday, we found a nearby cafe that sells churros... yummy! It was a good weekend, alhamdulillah!

Tuesday was one dish party day (no Appy, everyone makes a different dish and gets it to the party,  the same as a potluck)... and I was hurried and bhurried... made mummy's macaroni, packed it along with the  icecream, readied both kids and landed up one hour late. :/ well people came later too but not good :/ it was at a beautiful condo in Bedok with trees and  swimming pools surrounding us. I was thinking of jannah and the promise of flowing rivers and gardens. It was noon though so I got really tired and dehydrated and ended up with a massive headache. Luckily I had the macaroni and didn't have to cook. Ate the yummiest chocolate pudding and want to make it someday.

Today was really depressing what with hearing about the floods in Chennai from N, S'ra and her cancer & chemotherapy, the shootings, the bombings in Syria... felt like yes, Qiyamah is near.

Been more patient with the kids. I need to be more present. Went to sunplaza park because it hadn't rained and got a good walk in.  Alhamdulillah for all the blessings we have been showered with. May Allah ta'ala help those who are in need and bring peace to those who are grieving.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Reflections #6: Notes from Surah Yaseen

Sahih International
Indeed, it is We who bring the dead to life and record what they have put forth and what they left behind, and all things We have enumerated in a clear register.

The Arabic word for 'what they left behind' is aasaar.
Aasaar are visible impressions, like the trails of a plane in the sky. Not only are our actions in life counted in our book of deeds, but so are the impressions we leave behind.
So, what are these aasaar that will be counted either for us or against us on the Day of Judgement?

·         Sadaqah Jariah

o    Duas of a righteous offspring

o    Acts that continue to benefit people after your death: like digging a well, building a madrasah or a hospital

o    Knowledge you passed on

·         The impression that you leave behind

o    The good or bad opinion that people have of you because of the good/bad you did to them

·         The good or bad trends you set:

o    From a hadith: Jarîr relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Whoever initiates a good practice (sunnah hasanah) in Islam and is emulated by others in doing so will get the reward of it and the reward of all those who act upon it without their rewards being diminished in any respect. And whosoever initiates an evil practice (sunnah sayyi'ah) in Islam and is emulated by others will bear the sin of it and the sin of all those who act on it without their burden being diminished in the least. " [Sahîh Muslim: (1017)]

·         The steps you take towards Allah: Your footsteps or your petrol bills, such as going or coming from the mosque

·         The writing you have left behind: your class notes, your diary, your rants against people

·         Calling someone towards a good deed or Islam or driving them away from good or Islam

·         People you have influenced (without being aware of it) to do good or bad: your children, their children, your friends and family, your students.   Your good or bad vibes, your attitude can inspire or repel people from doing good

·         Sometimes you see someone and feel inclined to do good, some people repulse you, some people make you feel happy, some make you feel closer to God, some people seem trustworthy to you, some seem like they will cheat you. While your impression of these people may be wrong, what ultimately matters is the impression they leave on Allah ta'ala through all their actions. What is the impression that you leave on your family and those around you?  What is the impression that Allah ta'ala has of you?


It is the aasaar of the Nabi and the sahaba that have reached us all through the generations

Don't think that your book of deeds only has your own deeds, everything you do is influencing someone to do either good or bad. On the Day of Judgement we'll be informed of all the 'aasaar' or impressions we left behind.


Monday, November 30, 2015

Reflecting - 5

(From my class notes)

Sahih International

And among people and moving creatures and grazing livestock are various colors similarly. Only those fear Allah , from among His servants, who have knowledge. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Forgiving.

·         Nabi saws said he was the one who feared Allah ta'ala the most

·         You need both worldly knowledge and faith in the unseen to really fear Allah as He should be feared

·         "ILm is not knowing a lot or talking a lot, but but it is the knowledge which brings with it fear of Allah

·         "Jo darrta nahin toh aalim nahin"

·         Ali RA said "Mukammal faqeeh who hai jo logon ko Allah ki rahmat se mayoos na kare. Aur unko gunahon ki rukhsat bhi na de. Aur unko Allah ke azaab se mutmainn na kar de. Aur Quran ko chodkar kisi doosri cheez ki taraf raghbat na kare. Us ibadat mein koi khayr nahin jo baghayr ilm ke ho. Aur us ilm mein koi khayr nahin jo baghar samajh ke ho. Aur us qiraat mein koi khayr nahin jo baghayr tadabbur ke ho (asal faeda mand qirat woh hai jismein ghaur o fikr ho)

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Update #5

This week was weird... husband had to work on the weekend too and it just happened that I was either too tired to go out or there wasn't enough time to go out. Since S has holidays from this week, I didn't even step out of the house for three days! I don't think that's ever happened before.

On Tuesday, I could finally attend the dars and this time I was a little more social. Now I'm in the whatsapp group and my first one dish party ever is on Tuesday! Alhamdulillah. Felt great to meet other desi moms.

I think Nurah's going through her 4 month sleep regression at 5 months. Whatever it is, it's making me really cranky. She's screaming for attention and I'm already partially deaf :|

I called up the orphanage but they asked me to call their headquarters. Haven't got around to that yet :( registered as a volunteer on their site but no response so far.

Don't have the energy to write anymore. ..

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Reflecting - 3

- Being grateful and being patient. These are the only two conditions that a Muslim may be in. Grateful during good times and patient during bad times.
- Sometimes we get so frustrated with the small things that in anger we reject the blessing itself. Nothing is perfect in this world, everything comes with its own flaws
- Satan promised God that he would make men ungrateful. Allah ta'ala warns us again and again that Satan is our open enemy so we must be wary of him
- On the day of Judgement those who committed evil will accuse Satan of leading them astray. Satan will say that he only gave them the idea (whispered it in fact) and it was our choice whether to go ahead with it or not
- so we should try to be grateful, even for the smallest of things

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Update #4

This week seems like it's been going on forever. I don't know why. I can't wait for tomorrow and not cooking. Maybe that's why!

Last weekend, we went to Little India. Shopped at Mustafa and had lunch at Kailash Parbat which is a favorite. Realized after comparing to IR that except for the chaat, it's not really value for money.

S is going to her term field trip tomorrow iA. She's so excited. Tomorrow is also her last day of school so I'll have to figure out how to keep her occupied from Monday onwards.

Nu has learned how to rotate on her tummy and is still getting frustrated while trying to turn onto her back. It's quite funny. S is getting really good at getting Nu to keep quiet: singing songs to her, rattling her toys, having the stethoscope make its noise. Today and yesterday went worse than usual as M was working late. Hoping tomorrow will be better in sha Allah.

Mummy baba are back home alhamdulillah. Now waiting to go see them and have them play with the kids.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Reflecting - 4

Too troubled by the violence all over the world to think clearly. I feel so helpless and think at the same time: Surely claiming helplessness can't be a solution.   Surely, there must be something we can do besides making dua. I keep thinking that if every terrorist claiming to follow Islam,  actually understood the Qur'an, they would never attempt such a thing knowing they would have to answer to Allah ta'ala one day. These people though are beyond my reach but my family is within my reach... and I must do what I can so we learn the real message of Islam.

And beyond that I think that when Allah ta'ala asks me... what did you do to help? What did you do that reflected the real religion of Islam... Then what am I going to say? I mean how many times are we going to *say* this is not Islam? We need to stop talking and start doing. Surely, our littlest efforts are being watched by Allah ta'ala. My goal for this week is to contact the orphanage that Sister Ayesha told me about and find out what I can do to help. One tiny bit at a time in sha Allah.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Update #3

- On Friday, we went to Islamic Restaurant  (yes, again. Might even go this weekend too). Walked a great deal because we went to Bugis Junction mall later  (amazing chocolate almond icecream at Baskin31Robbins;)).
- was too tired to go out on Saturday. Husband cooked a full Chindian meal. We almost never go out on Sundays, but made an exception this time and went to Vivocity. Ugh, hours of walking + baby wearing on a few hours of sleep = massive tears-inducing headache. No more big trips on Sundays.
- Tuesday was a Happy Diwali holiday and we went to the mall just because.
- Nurah's new first and one I've been waiting for: eating feet. Soooooooooooo cute.
- Inter-sister play is picking up. Just so ♡
- my first Upwork job and my contract was put on hold because the client's account was suspended. He was responsive on email though so I hope it gets resolved soon and that I get paid. Tiny job so the money isn't an issue thankfully

That's all for now

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Reflecting - 2

This week in our Quran class we covered ayah 53 of Surah Ahzab that begins with the following words :

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتَ النَّبِيِّ إِلَّا أَنْ يُؤْذَنَ لَكُمْ إِلَىٰ طَعَامٍ غَيْرَ نَاظِرِينَ إِنَاهُ وَلَٰكِنْ إِذَا دُعِيتُمْ فَادْخُلُوا فَإِذَا طَعِمْتُمْ فَانْتَشِرُوا وَلَا مُسْتَأْنِسِينَ لِحَدِيثٍ ۚ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكُمْ كَانَ يُؤْذِي النَّبِيَّ فَيَسْتَحْيِي مِنْكُمْ ۖ وَاللَّهُ لَا يَسْتَحْيِي مِنَ الْحَقِّ ۚ

O  you  who  have  believed,  do  not  enter  the  houses  of  the  Prophet  except  when  you  are permitted  for  a  meal,  without  awaiting  its  readiness.  But  when  you  are  invited,  then enter;  and  when  you  have  eaten,  disperse  without  seeking  to  remain  for  conversation. Indeed,  that  [behavior]  was  troubling  the  Prophet,  and  he  is  shy  of  [dismissing]  you.  But Allah is  not  shy of the truth.

It's quite common in our culture to stay back and even overstay for a chat after having lunch or dinner at someone's house. While this isn't an issue if the host is the one asking you to stay,  we should be mindful that we're not wasting the host's time or our own. Ustazah said a person of Taqwa would not waste their own time or someone else's. May Allah ta'ala help us keep a check on our taqwa in the smallest of matters.

Monday, November 2, 2015


This Saturday we spent a looong time outside... having lunch at Islamic Restaurant (finger-licking good alhamdulillah), then Golden Landmark for a few minutes and then Sultan mosque for Asr. Finally we were having haze-free days,  so I really wanted to go to Marina Bay. So we wandered around Marina Bay Sands Shoppes for a bit, then watched the sound and light show over the water mainly for Sarah's entertainment. She didn't like it at all, probably felt scared. Was a beautiful day though. Walked 10010 steps according to my S Health app!

Nothing much to report about the weekdays. Trying to pack in more together so a little tiring. Parents should be returning from their vacation soon. Makes me feel sad for them.

That's all for now.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015


I was listening to Ustadh NAK talk about Allah ta'ala being Al Rahman... and the word stemming from the root raham meaning womb. That in the womb we're taken care of completely and that's how Allah is taking care of us in this world too.

In Surah Fateha, we learn that Allah ta'ala is Rabbul Alameen - Rabb of the people of the world. Then I recalled hearing that Rabb is also used for parents or those who nurture... and I thought then, that the feeling I'm supposed to have for Allah ta'ala is a magnified feeling of the love I feel towards my mother (and father). After all, my parents brought me into this world, then provided and cared for me, but Allah ta'ala created EVERYTHING, including our parents. So, I'm trying to keep that in mind while I pray, to pray with a feeling of love towards Allah ta'ala in sha Allah.

Monday, October 26, 2015


Nurah honey,

You're 4 months old today. You love rolling over onto your tummy and exploring the world around you by lifting your head up and looking around. You follow your sister with your eyes as she jumps around and even laugh or smile when she's "teaching" you her rhymes.

She adores you and is most of the time a very caring big sister. She even kisses your soles!  She gets upset when you cry frantically  or if you cry because you can't turn on to your back. You still haven't got used to your daddy yet and he's always wondering why you cry when he picks you up. And me... you luuurve me. :D your biggest smiles are reserved for me and I even get some right after I feed you. You still look very boyish, especially with those spiky hair... but sometimes I think you're the prettiest baby in the world :) I luuuuuurve you Noorie (like Sarah would say).

Quick update:
- I took on and completed an Elance job but haven't been paid yet x(
- we ate at nana thai last weekend and bali thai this week!
- ordered Hyderabadi Food
- I decided to do things differently; ) let's hope that works out
-  Sarah and her love of short clothes..

Me: Sarah. Pant pehno!
S: but mumma meku mere dolls ke jaisa sirf frock pehenna hai
Me: besharam hai woh dolls (make her wear her pants)
S: meku bhi besharam banna hai
Me: yeh ghar mein besharam log nai rehte. Bahar chale jao
S:  nikalke chale jatyun (or something to that effect, was still inwardly laughing at her wanting to be besharam :/)

That's all for now!


Wiping the sweat off his brow with a handkerchief, Rasheed stepped on to a wide street. He looked around, a hand shielding his face from the bright sun. Around him thronged people talking in strange accents and languages, excitedly exploring Singapore’s version of New York’s 5th Avenue. He had looked up the name of the store on his phone while in the hotel but half an hour later, he still hadn’t been able to locate the store. He decided it was time to walk into a store and ask for directions.

“Excuse me, please, I’m looking for the Eternal store?”
“Éternel” she said, correcting his pronunciation and giving him a withering look. His beard tended to have that effect on some people, he thought. No, he thought, mentally shaking his head. I need to make my 70 excuses. Maybe she’s just having a bad day.

“It’s on the next level. You’ll need to take the escalator” she said coldly before turning to talk to another customer.

He politely thanked her and walked towards the escalator. He puzzled over the sales assistant’s reaction: In the two weeks he’d been in Singapore, its people seemed to be fall over each other to help someone in need, yet it seemed like asking for directions was tantamount to being a criminal.

The staff at the Éternel outlet warmly greeted him as he stepped into the store. Bags of all sizes and colours lined the walls: he smiled inwardly as he pictured his wife going goggle-eyed at the sight of all the bags. For the umpteenth time, he wished he could have brought her along. It had been a long time since they had even gone on a shopping trip together, forget a trip outside the country.

“How may I help you, sir?” asked a young man approaching him with a smile.

“I’m looking for a bag for my wife. She’s a little crazy about your brand”, Rasheed admitted with a smile, recalling Mahira’s conversation with her sister over the phone. Mahira had rejected the idea of ordering the bag from the US and having it shipped to India. I don’t want it that badly. I might even look at some preloved ones if I can find them, she’d said over the phone. But Rasheed had seen her poring over the website for days together even after that conversation. She hadn’t said a word to him though, figuring he wouldn’t be interested. But in their eight years together, there were few things that he’d seen her get so excited about, so when he’d read that they had just opened an outlet in Singapore, he kept it to himself.

“Well, I’m not sure but I think I heard her mention a Diana line. This is going to be a surprise for her”

The sales assistant nodded with quiet eagerness. “Yes sir, that line is very popular among mothers-to-be.”

“Yes, that must be on the one, then” said Rasheed, relieved and smiling. “We have two kids and one on the way.”

“Congratulations”, the sales assistant bowed and then gestured towards his right. “Please step this way.”

Rasheed ran his eyes along all the bags and was bewildered. He had no idea which style Mahira would prefer.

“Shall I go over the features of each bag, sir?” the assistant asked, perhaps noticing the baffled look on Rasheed’s face.

Rasheed shook his head. There was no way knowing the features would help him decide. “Please just tell me what your best-selling bags are, and then I’ll pick one.”

The sales assistant turned to the shelves behind him and put three bags on the counter. Rasheed brightened immediately. “The red one, please.” He didn’t know much about bags, but he did know his wife’s favourite colour.

The sales assistant nodded as if in approval. It just struck Rasheed then that he hadn’t looked at the price tag. Mentally steeling himself, he discreetly turned the tag towards him, then gulped.

“It’s from our latest collection sir, I’m sure your wife will love it” the sales assistant said as if on cue.

“Well, she’d better” said Rasheed with a smile, and they laughed.

He collected the bag now placed in the store’s brightly-coloured gift box, thanked the salesman warmly and walked out of the store with a swing in his step. He couldn’t wait to see Mahira’s reaction! He hailed a passing taxi: fifteen hours until he could meet her.

* * *

It was barely a five hour flight but Rasheed was having a hard time sitting still. At four months, this Dawah trip had been the longest time he'd been away from his wife. He had made it a point to write her letters whenever he was visiting a new country. He loved reaching his hotel and finding a letter from her waiting for him. In her last letter, she too had seemed restless and anxious to see him. She still had a couple of months to go before her due date but she was having a tough time managing the kids without him. He looked at his watch again and shut his eyes, hoping to get some sleep.

 * * *

Marwah and Hasan rushed towards him as he got out of the cab. He could see Mahira standing in the doorway in her ink blue prayer dress and a cream-coloured dupatta wrapped around her head.  She was grinning and he ached to hold her. He had always thought pregnancy made her look even more beautiful.

After they had had lunch and the kids were taking a nap, he led her by the hand to the sofa and asked her to sit down beside him. She laughed at this unexpected display of his romantic side and sat down gracefully – or as gracefully as a pregnant woman could.
He reached behind the sofa and pulled out the box holding the Éternel bag from where he'd stowed it earlier. He watched with glee as her eyes widened and she grabbed the box from his hands.

"Wow! Wait... is this an Éternel bag?  For me?!"

He nodded, a little worried now that she might not like his choice.

She tore the wrapping paper, eyes wide, until finally the lid came free of the box. She gasped as she lifted the bag into the air with both hands.

"Allahu Akbar! The Mona bag?! How did you even know?! And red?! It's red! Oh, it's so beautiful! I didn't even know they had a store in Singapore! "

She flung her arms around him, squeezing him with all her strength.

"IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou" she said, kissing him repeatedly as he laughed.

"Wow, I’d have bought it much earlier if I’d known I’d get such a reaction” Rasheed said, holding her palms to his face.

Her smile faded then, and concern look took its place. "But this must have cost a..." she trailed off as he put a finger against her lips.

"Shush. Just don’t get used to it!" He said kissing her as she smacked his shoulder. She stood up and began strutting around the room with the bag on her shoulder.

He stretched out on the sofa and said, "Let's go out for dinner tonight. We can leave the kids with Ammi. I have so much to tell you."

"Oh yes, let’s. And this bag is dying to go and see the world! I love you, honey!" Mahira said, looking over at him as she opened the bag.

"Are you talking to me or the bag?" Rasheed mumbled, now half asleep on the sofa. She laughed, took a long look at his scruffily handsome form lying limp on the sofa and walked into their bedroom feeling grateful that he was home.

*  *  *
It was almost 8 pm by the time they were ready to leave for the restaurant. Ammi had decided to come over for the night so they were spared the trouble of dropping and picking up the children.

They stood outside the closed door, Rasheed putting on his shoes and Mahira dressed in her favourite grey abayah with a deep red scarf that matched her new bag. It gladdened Rasheed’s heart to see her so happy. The first few years of their life together had been difficult as his freelance Web development business was still gasping for air. They were always pinching pennies then and he'd hated having to use Mahira's savings to run the house. When the dawah bug bit him and he began going abroad for weeks at a time, she was unhappy at having to take care of the kids alone. But as time went by, and the weekly Quran classes that they attended together began to have their effect, things changed. Now she would be the one pushing him out of the door, saying that she hoped Allah ta'ala would give her a share of the reward too. 

Watching her laugh, being back home with the kids' ruckus in the background, feeling the cool night breeze on his face… he hoped that this moment would last forever.

"Mahira! Mahira bete!” a shrill familiar voice rang out behind them, startling them.

"Mahira bete! Assalamualaikum! Do you remember me? “Tahira bi loomed closer, wearing a faded blue saree and a straggly black scarf half-covering her head.

"Assalamualaikum Rasheed beta, hope you are well by Allah's grace.” she added, turning towards him.

They both greeted her back. "Why don't you come in, Tahira Bi?" Mahira said kindly.

"Nai, nai beta. I know you two have lots to do. I'm just an old lady... why would you bother with me...?"

Rasheed left the inevitable protests to Mahira.

"Bete... don't mind me... I'm an old woman. Ah, I've seen better days... oh, my wedding had been such a fine one... one never lacked for money in those days. Now so many daughters to be married... It's good you have one son and hopefully the next is also a boy ... no burdens there.  Oh well, Allah gives us... what can we say..."

Rasheed took a deep breath. He recalled that she had held them up for hours the last time she had visited. He politely said, "Tahira bi, we have to go somewhere... We're getting late. Can we help you with something...?"

“Oh no, no... well actually... my husband you know, may Allah bless him, he's dead and my daughter… her wedding is in two months. I need money for her dowry, the other side is creating trouble… if you could help… what can an old woman do, but pray to Allah! Mahira bete, if you have any clothes you want to give: old or new, any jewelry, anything is welcome. Last time you gave me your pink saree for the engagement, everybody liked it… if this time too…” she trailed off looking expectantly at Mahira.

Rasheed sighed. He watched as Mahira obligingly went inside. Surprisingly, she returned within a few minutes.

“Tahira bi, when you told me the wedding was coming up, I began putting together a few things. Nida is so beautiful, I’m sure these sarees will look good on her. Some of these are new so make sure you put them in her trousseau.”

“Oh Mahira beti, may Allah bless you with lots of boys! I thank Allah for people like you!”

Mahira touched her arm and said with a smile, “Bas Tahira bi. We’re just the channels through which Allah gives. All praise belongs to Him.”

Mahira turned to lock the door again when Tahira Bi said “Bete…”

Ji, Tahira Bi?”

Bete, that bag on your arm is so nice. My daughter always wanted a red bag. It will look so good on her on her wedding day. If you could spare it… Nida will be so happy” she said, an eager look on her face.

Rasheed started and then whirled to face Mahira. She was calm and looking at him, as if seeking permission. He wrestled with the feelings that rose to his throat, and then taking a deep breath, shrugged and began looking at his shoes.  

“Sure, Tahira bi, let me just pull out my wallet. It’s new, so there’s nothing else in it yet” said Mahira, taking her wallet out of the bag and handing over the bag to Tahira bi.

“Oh Mahira beti, may Allah ta’ala bless you! My Nida will be so happy. I’ll come by next week with the wedding invitations… I won’t keep you two any longer!” hoisting the two bags on her shoulders she walked away in her shuffling gait.

“You didn’t have to…”

Mahira put a finger gently to her husband’s lips and recited, “Wa ma indallahi…”
“… Khayrun wa Abqa”, he completed the verse with her. And that which is with Allah is better and everlasting.

He might be the one calling people to Islam, but his wife was the one living it, Rasheed thought. He put his arm around her and walked her to the car.

“Will you take me with you, when you go shopping?” he said turning to look at her, as he started the car.

“Shopping? When am I going shopping?” she asked, puzzled.

“At the Friday market”, he said looking through the windscreen at the road in front of him.

“There’s a Friday market?”

“Yes, in Jannah”. He said turning to look at her with a smile. 

“There’s a market in Jannah?” she said, laughing. Her deep red scarf enhanced the natural glow of her face.

He nodded and turned towards her. “Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him, said, "In Jannah there is a market to which the people will come every Friday. The northern wind will blow and shower fragrance on their faces and clothes and, consequently, it will enhance their beauty and loveliness. They will then return to their families who will also have increased in their beauty and loveliness, and their families will say to them: 'We swear by Allah that you have been increased in beauty and loveliness since leaving us.' Thereupon they will reply: 'We swear by Allah that you have also been increased in beauty and loveliness since we left you.”  
Mahira leaned over to his side and kissed him on the cheek. 

"In sha Allah my dear, in sha Allah"

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

3 lines before I sleep

- I want to get back to writing and no,  not work stuff I don't really give two figs about
- nurah, you're just so precious... I feel like time will slip away like it did euthanasia Sarah and I just don't want to let go of your baby-ness(except when you're screaming  (WHY are both of you so LOUD?!) and I wish you could tell me what's bothering you).
- Sarah, dear Sarah. I love you so much but please stop saying no and being so difficult. I don't like screaming at and threatening you all the time.  I really need to be more patient and present (and you need to stop being a threenager!)

Thursday, September 3, 2015

What a week

Dengue. Dengue. Dengue.
Me AND Nu. Alhamdulillah for being healthy again.
3 days to Sg. So much stuff!
Played safe again and stuck to 241 :|
Sarah: "mere self khaletyun main"
"Mumma uno bazaan nikalrein"
Me: "bazaan wrong word hai.  Sahi word kya hai?"
"Mumma uno lazaan nikalrein"

Thursday, August 13, 2015


I turned 30 yesterday.  I've been thinking of myself as 30 years old for a long time now so it doesn't really shock me. Does make me introspective though.

Alhamdulillah, as I sit here rocking Nu who's finding it difficult to go to sleep... I feel quite happy and content with the family aspect of my life, alhamdulillah. Happy to have spent this time with m&d and looking forward to resuming normal life in a few weeks.

I do need to start doing more with my time though. Professionally, deen-ily, giving back: I need to slowly but steadily increase my role in these things. I also need to own my current roles: do more and with more ihsan no matter what I do.

And I need to remind myself of two things:
1) stop seeking validation from people. Allah ta'ala is watching and knows what I'm doing.  And He won't waste the ajr of a Muhsin.
2) Whatever I want from the people around me must be sought from Allah ta'ala first because everyone's hearts are in His control.

And now for yesterday:
My request to go to inorbit mall was heartily approved and off we went, though a little late. Got stuck in traffic and really rued leaving late and having baba drive so far. Did some shopping at Lifestyle, then barged into Mothercare because Nu was hungry. Teeny tiny pants were bought. We had lunch at Chutney's and then shopped for a bit at Max. Gorv really cute dresses and a see - through pouch set at decent prices. Luuurve the pouch. I guess I'm just thinking after all the poring over jujube stuff that it'll make me super organized. Now if only doing so was as much fun as shopping :D

Came back exhausted but couldn't catch a break. Cut the cake in the evening (delicious!) and saw M's gift and it instantly made my day.

Sarah to me yesterday: "Mumma jab aap chote the aap kitchen ku kitchu bolte the nai?" (Totally made up!)

Also her singing happy birthday mumma was the sweetest heart - melting moment of my day yesterday. I think birthdays should be about our moms, not us. Kissed mummy too!

Time to end now.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015


Just wanted to say that I miss blogging.

Also bullet point updates only from last week:
- Bint khalid ch got married, rather vidaied. Sarah big hit ma sha Allah
- loads of paperwork to do! Nu's passport appointment tomorrow
- baby Reya is here :)
- kids driving me nuts at night. Understatement. Not really looking forward to single parenting that ll ensue soon enough (IA nevertheless!)
- Nu sleeping a few 5 hour stretches here and there alhamdulillah

Gotta dump the baby on the bed and attempt sleeping once again.