Monday, December 31, 2012

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

That's Allah


"He is controlling the affairs of all the kingdoms. He commands and prohibits, creates and gives provision, and gives death and gives life. He raises and lowers people's status, alternates night and day, gives days (good and not so good) to men by turns, and causes nations to rise and fall, so that one nation vanishes and another emerges. His command and decree are carried out throughout the heavens and on earth, above it and below it, in the oceans and in the air. He has knowledge of all things and knows the number of all things. He hears all voices, and does not mistake one for another; He hears them all, in all the different languages and with all their varied requests and pleas. No voice distracts Him from hearing another, He does not confuse their requests, and He never tires of hearing the pleas of those in need. He sees all that is visible, even the walk of a black ant across a solid rock in the darkest night. The unseen is visible to Him, and secrets are known to Him; "Whosoever is in the heavens and on earth begs of Him (its needs from Him). Every day He has a matter to bring forth (such as giving honour to some, disgrace to some, life to some, death to some, etc.)!" [al-Rahman 55:29]. He forgives sins, eases worries, relieves distress, helps the defeated person back on his feet, makes the poor rich, guides the one who is astray and confused, fulfils the needs of the desperate, feeds the hungry, clothes the naked, conceals faults, and calms fears. He raises the status of some and lowers the status of others; Even if all the inhabitants of heaven and earth, the first and the last of them, mankind and jinn alike, were to be as pious as the most pious among them, this would not increase His sovereignty in the slightest; if they all, the first and the last of them, mankind and jinn alike, were to be as rebellious as the most rebellious among them, this would not decrease His sovereignty in the slightest. If everything in heaven and on earth, the first and the last of them, mankind and jinn, living and dead, animate and inanimate, were to stand in one place and ask of Him, and He were to give them everything that they asked for, this would not decrease what He has by even an atom's weight He is the First, before Whom there is nothing, and the Last, after Whom there is nothing, may He be blessed and exalted. He is the Most deserving of being remembered, the Most deserving of being worshipped, the Most deserving of being thanked. He is the Most Compassionate of kings, the Most Generous of those who are asked. He is the King Who has no partner or associate, the One who has no rival, the Self-Sufficient Master, Who has no son, the Most High, and there is none like unto Him. "Everything will perish save His face" [al-Qasas 28:88], and everything will vanish except His sovereignty; He will not be obeyed except by His permission, and He will not be disobeyed except with His knowledge. He is obeyed, so He shows His appreciation, and He is disobeyed, so he forgives. Every punishment on His part is justice, and every blessing from Him is a favour. He is the closest of witnesses and the nearest of protectors. He seizes people by their forelocks, records their deeds and decrees the appointed time for all things. Hearts conceal nothing from Him, for secrets are known to Him. His gift is a word and His punishment is a word: "Verily, His Command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says to it, "Be!" and it is." [Ya Seen 36:82]."

(From al-Waabil al-Sayib, p. 125 by ibn al-Qayyim Rahimahullah)

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

5 months

Sarah, you turned 5 months old today, alhamdulillah! Can't believe that you're just a month shy of the big 6! Then we can start you on solid food insha'allah, yayy!

Please promise me you'll start sleeping better then! Since we're on that topic, can I say that the last two months have been really tough sleepwise? You wake up a zillion times in the night and in the last few days, your naps have been all over the place!

Last week was very stressful with both of us being down with cold and congestion, then just as I was beginning to make friends with other mommies in the apartment block, you caught conjunctivitis! Latching had also become an issue, so we said goodbye to your best friend, the pacifier. Or MY best friend. So I don't know who it's been more tough on. You cried a lot the first few nights, which almost made me cry too. We regressed back to the bouncer, your mosquito net umbrella broke and the new one is too easy for you to play with, and I'm still wondering what to do about swaddling you. These are such huge issues for me mainly because I'm still trying to figure out how we can sleep better without becoming a snappier, moodier version of myself. I don't think anyone else gets that, except maybe the other moms on my birth board. Sometimes, I wonder if they even should, because then I'm worrying about worrying too much!

Okay so now that we're done with the doom and gloom, there were a number of wonderfully sweet things that happened this month:

#1: It was a dreary Friday morning and I was sitting beside your abbu and you were seated between us on the sofa. You were busy sucking your middle and ring fingers. Your adb (abbudaddybaba) was looking tired so I said he should sleep more during the weekend when you suddenly burst out laughing... And then you kept laughing every few minutes. That was the first and only time so far that we saw you laughing without being provoked. You still haven't told us what the joke was.

#2: At one of your MOTN wakings, I changed your diaper and left your drowsy self on the bed to go wash my hands. When I came back in less than a couple of minutes you were fast asleep, lying on your side, one hand tightly clasped around abd's finger (his hands just happened to be outstretched in your direction). It was so sweet that I didn't dare move you till a few minutes later you rolled onto your back again.

#3: yesterday you and abd made a nice game of bidding him goodbye when he left for office: your abd kept kissing you and you would keep turning your cheek to him and laughing.

Now for some general things:
- you shout for quite a few minutes before falling asleep. This can be very frustrating because you have a really loud voice for such a tiny person and you even do it in the MOTN (all such abbreviations are carryovers from babycenter forums).
- when you're happy and you know, you screech
- you're very distracted during feedings and will frequently look up at me (thank you)
- you often show your enjoyment of something by giving an awfully cute open mouthed smile.
- you sometimes say mmmn when you cry and whisper "ha" for fun
- you can sit for a couple of minutes before toppling over which you find funny
- you give me open mouthed kisses (thank you)
- these days you keep lunging when sitting and flail like superman during tummytime
- you seem to like pooing on your poor abd and once spitup in his hair when he was carrying you around the house on his shoulders (cue open mouthed grin)
- you still can't roll from your back to your tummy
- you can get really mad and shout before you start crying
- your first train rides were mostly uneventful if you ignore the crying spells
- you're the apple of your grand parents' eyes, especially on your abd's side being the first grandchild and all

Your current nicknames: mitthi, giddu, sarahbb, chotib, cutieb, laddub, honeyb (b is a carryover from the ammaarah era), casper (what your adb calls you when you wear your white sleepsuit), choochoo (abd's favourite), pitoli mamma (baba)

I love you sarahbb.