Sunday, December 19, 2010

Dear M

So should I pretend I know or should I pretend I don't know? :P Well, the cat's out of the bag, innit? "Anyways", you had to find out some time. Happy reading (hopefully I will continue here)!

As to updates on the resolution front: it went pretty well, much better than I thought. Waking up early gives you oodles of time to make fill up your life more meaningfully, actually it also gives you more time to waste, but that's up to you. Unfortunately, I had so much work that I ended up working on most of those early morning days. But then... sigh... she falls the sick. She gets the bronchitis and she doesn't wake up early three days in a row. Or maybe that's four now. N and I actually went on a 1 hour walk on the beach. It was good. 

P bhai had to be re-admitted into the ICU. Ya Allah, please bless him with a full recovery.

In other news, the parents are back from the wedding in Delhi, and mom told me the most hilarious conversation that took place between the niece and Mummy. Ammy asked Mummy 'Aap inse shadi kare?' pointing at Baba. And Mummy was so stunned, she said 'Kyun, Ammaarah?' and Ammy said something to the effect of 'Agar koi aur rehte the toh uno meku nai satate the na' :P

Ok, gtg.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Day 1 - going strong alhamdulillah

Woke up at 5:30, prayed Fajr, read Quran, boiled the dal, cut the
beans, folded the clothes that had been piling up on the fosa, 20
minutes of Jane Fonda aerobics and leaving for work in 20 minutes...
EEP! The only thing I'm scared of is that I have an exam to give and I
hope I'm not going to feel sleepy during the day.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Notes to meself

Assalamualaikum :)
I feel the urgent need to post but I have only a few minutes before we leave for home.
Some notes from the weekend:
1. Sometimes it takes only the turning of a routine activity into a fun activity to make your husband really happy :)
2. We visited P bhai at the hospital. His progress has been unsteady what with having multiple infections, high fever and his only communication being limited to mumbling a few words we tried really hard to understand. His sister tried so hard to make him wish her a happy birthday and he did manage it after all, barely mumbling it... but what was beautiful was that when she asked him to press her hand, he held it tightly, brought it up to his lips and gave her a kiss on the back of her hand. It must be so painful to try to get your 40 year old brother to speak and not have him answer. I found myself wondering how we were so amazed that he finally did speak a few incoherent words when in a normal situation you would take the ability to speak completely for granted.
3. We had dinner at a Mut'am :D Yes, there's a restaurant here that has it's name written in Arabic. I just wanted to go there because I thought it would remind me of Dammam in some way. The food wasn't spectacular though
4. It's been raining here so heavily, the roads are flooded, people are wading through dirty, ankle/calf-deep water. Alhamdulillah for being able to travel in a car.
5. On Muslimmatters Open Thread I came across the article on facebook. I tend to waste a lot of time on facebook, especially given that I have so many 'friends' and I can read all their updates. For a second after reading that article, I thought I would go ahead and deactivate it immediately, but something in my mind (my nafs :|) said it would be too drastic. So for now I plan to do some 'trigger-happy' cutting off of people. Or maybe get another account that I can actually share my thoughts on.
6. I really really need the motivation to cook. Please help me :(
7. Nizha and I have decided that we'll do a month long developing habits run - waking up early and working out for 4 hours a week. I know once I wake up early, I can fit other things into my schedule like continuing the tafseer from Bayyinah, working out, making meals ready, and generally having a more meaningful life. I really, really want to make this work. Help me ya Allah, please.
Okay, now I'm too hungry to think. Ahbeback.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Bayyinah Notes - Tafseer of Surah Naba - part 1

1. Two kinds of news - Naba and Khabar. Naba is a momentous event, that will have a material consequence that will affect you

2. Fihi instead of fee - 'really?!'

3. Mukhtalifoon - Mu means a constant state (of disagreement)

4. Kalla - has to do with 'Stop!' , stop, you're going to find out very soon. It is like saying 'Nonsense!' 'All of you stop talking' (meaning holds if you pause after Kalla), if you don't pause, then it means 'truly', or like 'no, no the reality is very soon they're going to find out'... the 'No, No' is kalla (without a pause)

5. First time you will realize what you're facing is when you're at qiyamah, second time will be in hellfire... for summa kalla sayalamoon (kalla sa ya'lamoon, summa kalla sa ya'lamoon)

6. Rhyme scheme tells you where a paragraph opens or begins 

7. Allah starts telling you about his blessings - He starts talking about the things he creates for you to understand how small your abilities are, compared to His. For e.g. talking about the mountains as pegs (You make tents, look at the kinds of pegs I use for my tents)

8. Sina - slumber, Nawm - deep sleep. Subaata - that cuts off. Night cuts you off... from your soul, cuts you off from your daily affairs, you don't exist for those few hours, you're cut off from the world. Foreshadowing of the resurrection... all human beings will be cut off from one another, all relationships will be chopped can't avoid your sleep, you're overwhelmed by it... you think the Hereafter is so impossible, you can't even avoid your sleep. 

9. Libasa - garment, night covers you like a blanket, you hide under the night. It's a cover on you that you're not capable of taking off. The night has overcome everyone, has manifested over you. An example of Allah's creation overpowering all his creation.

10.The day is ma'ash.... ma'ash - means of livelihood, time of livelihood. 

11. Fauqakum - constructed above you. Compare human construction with Allah's seven heavens. Allah is putting the human being in his place pointing out that the human being has no reason to scoff at the hearafter. 

12. Siraj - that emits light, shining and blazing. Wahhaj again highlights dazzling, an illustration of Allah ta'alas power by creating the sun

13. Asarah - to squeeze. Winds squeeze the clouds and it rains. Or clouds that are so full that they can't hold any more water and it rains. Hajjaj - heavy or profuse. Human beings are overpowered by floods or by droughts... Allah ta'ala is again illustrating his power over the human being. 

14. Habban - wheat, grains, Nabata - vegetables. Jannaat - lush gardens, Lafeef - wrapped around, Alfaf - intertwined plants, lush full with intertwined plants, can't tell where one plant begins another ends.

15. Now that the human being is put in his place, Allah ta'ala goes back to discussing the DoJ. Yaumul fasl - the day of separation or the day of separation of truth from falsehood. Followers will be separated from their leaders, a tyrant will be separated from his power, separated from their families...most graphic description - mother will be separated from her child...

16. This day of parting, of clear distinction has already been appointed, it's like clockwork. Just like the night and day, the pairs of man and wife, just like you expect the day to turn into the night, expect the hereafter, the hereafter HAS to come, it will come. Human being you better realize you're marching towards your Lord, minute by minute, second by second, whether you realize it or not, you're moving in that direction.

Thursday, November 25, 2010


Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please note that the defendant was able to complete the cooking of the dal and the chawal by 7:15 PM IST. Please note that this involved some exercise of taste and re-cooking as she was making the watery, lemon version. Also, she managed to complete the cooking of the timatar ki chutney, the side dish, by 7:45 PM. The jury may note that this dish is one that requires cooking on a low flame and frequent monitoring. She hereby rests her... bottom.


So I am in no mood to cook (might as well accept it) but I must. So ladies and ledas, the time is 6:16 PM and she needs to make the dal and the chawal as fost as possible (gives her time to do whatever she feels like once she's done). Alfo, she thinks there should be a side dish, easy to make such as bhindi. How much time will she take?

Off she goes... ready get set... GO!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Reasons not to browse aimlessly:

1. wasting time that I owe the company - it's ethically  wrong
2. Focusing on work that has to be done here - thinking  about the next steps - getting ahead - won't be possible  if I waste my time reading articles that will bring me no benefit
3. Once I get done with work, I can focus on a few blogs that actually get a better hold on my life
 4. I get more active time if I get off my butt
5. Less things to crowd my brain with as my brain isn't full of faff
6. Reading blogs that might have a negative influence on me
7. Not feeling guilty at the end of the day when I recall  the time I wasted
8. Feeling guilty -> feeling worthless -> loss of self- esteem. Completely unnecessary

What can I do to replace this habit?

1. Check my outlook email
2. Make a printable CEO list on three things to do today. Divide first task into small chunks
3. Breathe, visualize, pray, begin
4. Work for 30 minutes non-stop
Credit: Zen Habits' Focus Free

Notes to myself

Just thought I'd write in... need to get rid of the busy-ness in my brain. I should really stop jumping from article to article on the net – especially when I keep formulating to-dos after reading each one of them. I was reading a book called 'Mental Traps' the other day in the office library (such a peaceful place) and it said that procrastination is usually because you think you have this unending list of unfinished business... and often you're doing nothing and you want to continue doing nothing... which then becomes a task, a 'do-nothing' that you don't want to interrupt, and therefore you go on procrastinating K


A teensy weensy bit worried about M. P bhai collapsed two days ago due to an unruptured brain aneurysm and M has been the go-to man for everything for P bhai's family. Z bhai is there to help too now, but what with M being so sincere about work, so sincere about helping everyone by going out of his way, no wonder he's so stressed out. He said it was all the driving that was making it worse and he's feeling better now that he's at home. Shall pamper him tonight insha'allah.


From time to time, I keep thinking of P bhai. He's the most active, one of the most fun to talk to people I know, and it's difficult to imagine him having fits or being unconscious. I can't imagine what that's like – how would he feel when he wakes up and knows that he has no idea what happened in the past few days? Of how his family is losing sleep over him, or how his stretcher was pushed into the ambulance with loud thunks as the metal rods hit the back of the ambulance... I couldn't quite get that out of my mind... his having no idea that so many people were watching, how he couldn't feel the pain that a normal person would on being jerked around like that...


... and a scary thought... what if our waking lives are like that? That we'll actually wake up only on the Day of Judgment and realize we were sleepwalking through life? Ya Allah... wake us up please, such helplessness just brought home how utterly dependent we are on you, Allah ta'ala... for every single breath. Ya Allah, help us in giving thanks, help us in being grateful for what we have, help us in being human beings who practice ihsan. Ya Allah, give us strength, contentment and a generous heart. Ya Allah, let no moment of ours be free of the knowledge that we are in constant need of you, Ya Allah please bestow your mercy on us and keep us on the straight path.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Feeling miserable - hungry, unhappy, unable to concentrate. And Amita'll be gone home by the time I get done with the training. Then I'll have to go home on my own probably in the bus, put all the clothes for tomorrow together, look presentable, go there and be extra cheery happy, sleep in some strange room and worst of all - wake up there too. I'm not a great morning person, I'm too fussy about bathrooms and somehow putting things together like toothbrushes, other clothes, and other necessary items just feels like such a burden. Then go all the way to their house... Sigh.
Okay, I'm not supposed to be cribbing. This is the day for dua and for blessings. Ok, I'll go do that. Hope we're all fine by the time we meet...

Thursday, November 11, 2010


·         I'm so sleepy. I just learned from one of my would-be managers that I might have to train some developers in a few domain based courses. The funny part is I'm doing the training myself… what am I going to teach them? Plus I've never taught anyone unless you count teaching little girls IInd class syllabus while they're studying in the VIth class.


·         Hwaaa. I wish I were a bird, wrap a wing around my head and go to sleep.


·         Pshaw. The first challenging thing in this job and this is my reaction. I should be screaming, "Bring it on!" a la Jillian Michaels screaming. (I sometimes find myself echoing her words in my brain. Proof that anything you listen to on a regular basis stagnates in your brain unless replaced by something more irritating)


·         We're supposed to be attending someone's wedding reception today. I'm mainly going because the husband's boss wanted me to meet his wife. We seem to have a lot in common.


·         Where's my wing?


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Oh and

I got my old phone back. Yayy! I hope I don't screw it up again. The HTC people were really nice to wait for me for so long. Horrible traffic jams. Alhamdulillah  #1
I got my phone, paid for the servicing, went to another shop to get a case for the phone. M calls me up telling me to go back and collect his debit card from the phone shop. Alhamdulillah #2.

Zari the awesome



I has headache. But I should be am really proud of myself today. You know why?


·         I woke up when Rwari came in

·         I stayed up till she cleaned, reading the Hawkins Pressure Cooker manual. There really are so many things I did not know about pressure cooking. My MIL had asked me to read it. But did I listen? No. 

Hey, this was a list of things I'm proud of myself for. So:

·         I soaked the dal and while waiting, I first did some twenty minutes of Jane Fonda's aerobics. All energized!

·         Then I listened to a lecture on Quranic Arabic.

·         I stayed up. This is very important because I was tempted to go back to bed (just 5 minutes) many, many times

·         Then I set the cooker on the stove and chopped bhindi! The bhindi was very clean and it took only a few minutes to chop! I've never made bhindi on my own.

·         Then I decided to go Italian. We had some left over pizza seasoning and chilli flakes from a pizza corner delivery. The idea for using garlic came from the internets.

·         So, ladies and gentlements, Italian bhindi or shall I say Italian Okra? Orrrrrr…… Finely sliced okra sautéed in garlic and seasoned with Italian herbs?

·         Yeah, so I got some garlic paste and fried it in oil. Added the bhindi, added the seasoning, some salt and some red chilli powder and there you go ladies and gentlements, amazing Italian bhindi!

·         The only sad part was that two bhindis hid in the red bowl I washed them in, so we fell short of the bhindi.

·         I fed the husband as he ran helter-skelter in the house putting on socks, shoes et al. I felt like a good wife. It's not a feeling I get very often.

·         He liked the bhindi. Which means more bhindis are going to get fried tonight. Even those two sneaky ones.

I love me!

Actually there's one more thing to be proud of: I bravely resisted the urge to add my favourite cooking ingredient: butter.

Don't you love me?

Monday, November 1, 2010

updates in bullets

* We went to get my phone serviced on Saturday and a fruitless trip to EA thereafter
* On Sunday bhe bhent to the T'miyur beach. Lauly place. I loves the beach you know! Also went into a lovely restawrent called Bella Ciao but left because it served pork. I spotted 'rum' in the tiramisu recipe too
* After a long time (since the wedding), I did the level 1 workout from the 30 day shred yesterday. It is true: muscles I didn't know I had are aching. Didn't do it today though :( Hope to make it up with some walking etc. I really need to get rid of the love handles
* Ok, I gotta go take a short walk, withdraw some money, and do some kindness

Thursday, October 28, 2010


I lost my debit card a few days ago. I still don't know where - I probably forgot to take it out of the ATM machine. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, it wasn't used. Given that my phone number isn't updated to show recent transactions - God knows I could have lost all my money. If it is a person who had my card, may Allah ta'ala bless him or her with the highest level in Paradise. I have to go apply for a new card tomorrow.
I asked the husband for some money, given that I had run out of cash and had no card to withdraw any. He promptly put some cash into my hands along with his debit card. Don't you just love husbands? :) Alhamdulillah.