Thursday, August 13, 2015

Thirty.

I turned 30 yesterday.  I've been thinking of myself as 30 years old for a long time now so it doesn't really shock me. Does make me introspective though.

Alhamdulillah, as I sit here rocking Nu who's finding it difficult to go to sleep... I feel quite happy and content with the family aspect of my life, alhamdulillah. Happy to have spent this time with m&d and looking forward to resuming normal life in a few weeks.

I do need to start doing more with my time though. Professionally, deen-ily, giving back: I need to slowly but steadily increase my role in these things. I also need to own my current roles: do more and with more ihsan no matter what I do.

And I need to remind myself of two things:
1) stop seeking validation from people. Allah ta'ala is watching and knows what I'm doing.  And He won't waste the ajr of a Muhsin.
2) Whatever I want from the people around me must be sought from Allah ta'ala first because everyone's hearts are in His control.

And now for yesterday:
My request to go to inorbit mall was heartily approved and off we went, though a little late. Got stuck in traffic and really rued leaving late and having baba drive so far. Did some shopping at Lifestyle, then barged into Mothercare because Nu was hungry. Teeny tiny pants were bought. We had lunch at Chutney's and then shopped for a bit at Max. Gorv really cute dresses and a see - through pouch set at decent prices. Luuurve the pouch. I guess I'm just thinking after all the poring over jujube stuff that it'll make me super organized. Now if only doing so was as much fun as shopping :D

Came back exhausted but couldn't catch a break. Cut the cake in the evening (delicious!) and saw M's gift and it instantly made my day.

Sarah to me yesterday: "Mumma jab aap chote the aap kitchen ku kitchu bolte the nai?" (Totally made up!)

Also her singing happy birthday mumma was the sweetest heart - melting moment of my day yesterday. I think birthdays should be about our moms, not us. Kissed mummy too!

Time to end now.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Yknow

Just wanted to say that I miss blogging.

Also bullet point updates only from last week:
- Bint khalid ch got married, rather vidaied. Sarah big hit ma sha Allah
- loads of paperwork to do! Nu's passport appointment tomorrow
- baby Reya is here :)
- kids driving me nuts at night. Understatement. Not really looking forward to single parenting that ll ensue soon enough (IA nevertheless!)
- Nu sleeping a few 5 hour stretches here and there alhamdulillah

Gotta dump the baby on the bed and attempt sleeping once again.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

quick notes on the Malaysia trip: Singapore-Kuala Lumpur-Penang-Langkawi-Singapore in 6 days


So M&D were here for a visit and we finally made that trip to Malaysia, alhamdulillah. I never thought I'd get the chance to vacation with them again post-wedding but so happy we were able to. And while I was really stressed about the whole trip, it turned out pretty decently. I mean I was afraid that in all the bookings I'd made I'd screw up or pull a Zari, but two train bookings, four flight bookings and three hotel bookings later, I did pretty well. Of course I kinda did badly selecting the Chulia Heritage Hotel in Georgetown. It had 'shared bathrooms' which means bathrooms were outside the room! Ugh. Bad decision but because the hotel was pretty clean, I think it was okay.


So quickly... some highlights

1. The confusion at Woodlands. Oh yeah, major confusion at this point. We pass immigration and everything and then realize instead of reaching the train platform, we're at the coach platform! Alhamdulillah for some smooth action by the officials. Next time must keep my eyes peeled for the signs. All the drama just because of one wrong turn.
2. In the train Sarah has a lot of fun playing with an older boy, perhaps 6 years old. They giggled, she couldn't talk to him much but kept making noises and shared her crayons and colouring book. When the family left, the boy's mother put 15 SGD in Sarah's hand!
3. We reach KL late in the night. I really could have done a better job selecting hotels for the whole trip. But everything was so last minute, now I know you really have to comb through reviews on TripAdvisor, especially the room tips. And never, ever go by the hearts on Booking.com. So we get off the train, and reach Little India (or one of the three Little Indias in KL) and search for 'My Hotel'. While we're searching, a helpful young man tells us, there are three My Hotels in this area, so why don't you go to the nearest one over there and find out which you're booked at. Didn't need that confusion after the drama at Woodlands. 
4. We go on a KL tour with some highly reviewed private tour at TripAdvisor. Pretty decent. Loved KL. Had expected it to look like SGP but wasn't. Much more beautiful.
5. Catch a train to Penang. Parents are like hyperparanoid at this point. Everything goes okay, we reach Butterworth early in the morning, and catch a ferry to the island. Beautiful ride with the sky still dark. Reach the hotel, no checkin until 2. Get down at a mosque and realize Sarah's stroller's still in the cab that just left. Baba and I track down the stroller. Whew. Get to check in early thanks to some nice staff member. Sleep. Wake up and go to Penang Hill via the funicular train. Just amazing! A straight steep climb by train! Come back, walk a bit around Georgetown and have dinner at Danish. Amazing again.
6. Next day we take the Penang Round Island tour with Tour Incentive. Great value for money. Beautiful trip and learn a lot about Malaysia. Many thanks to Mr. Chua. Eat at Danish again, had 3 meals there in total. Also had Nasi Kandar.
7. Catch the flight to Langkawi. Husband arrives. Reach Bayview. Major shock there as husband tells me of some $250 charge on his card that was with me. (Now we know it was only an earlier transaction and the message was late). We go to Pantai Cenang beach after a visit to Geopark (awesome and awesome!). Husband urges me to parasail. I want to but am chickening out. Tell Baba to do it and he agrees. I go next. Ah, just unforgettable. Felt like a bird, buffeted by the wind over a beautiful blue-green sea. Sigh. It was so beautiful. Dinner at the nearby Thai restaurant. Great food.
8. Langkawi cable car. Huge lines that make everyone extremely pissed off. If you plan to go, DO NOT go late in the day, go early and get in the line asap. We wasted some time having Sarah feed rabbits. The ride was amazing though. We went up really, really high and it was actually scary to look down. Just like the funicular train, the pressure at that altitude made our ears pop? click? Whatever, too sleepy to think right now. Came back and husband left for airport. After some chai, we went to another beach finally with a driver who could speak English. Dinner again at the Thai restaurant -- amazing food!
9. Flight back to Singapore.

I hate that I'm not writing about Sarah. It's so much fun to be around her , most of the time. Some of the English words she's picked up since joining playschool on August 1st: no moar!, gothere, Lookathis, Whatisthisth, justaminit. All her classmates and teachers call her Serah, you know like the Christian pronunciation. Not bothered though, they're both the same person, just  different pronunciation. She loves going to school alhamdulillah and her enthusiasm is really appreciated by the teachers, alhamdulillah again. She's obsessed with rhymes so it's no wonder she enjoys going to school. Okay, I have a test tomorrow and I can't write anymore.

buhbye

Friday, July 18, 2014

updates from July 2014

Tired. Drained. Sleepy. Had a spot of work last night. Work as in work work not what I do or don't do :| all the time. I don't have the time to elaborate but if I could, this is what I would write about:

- Zafar mama, then Nanima. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun.
- Mariyakishadi
- Daura e quran and what a blessing the Quran is. Sabr and shukr
- Sarah turning two. 
- Laptop trips to Harbourfront and time at Vivocity and Bugis
- Horror at Gaza and rapes in India
- Wanting to be better, hoping for better times in sha Allah

Also, school hunting begins. Yayy!



Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Alhamdulillah 3laa kulli haal

What I was cribbing about has now turned itself into a blessing. Or so I hope. In that respect, the blessings have been pouring on me since yesterday. But two days ago, we lost z mama. I don't want to continue in that vein because then I will stop working. This is my first experience with grief and I pray my last one, and it is odd how it comes in waves. You're fine and your brain is busy warding off any thoughts that want to 'disturb' its peace. And then when you're alone, it HITS. Ya Allah, pour sabr on us.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

pich

This shouldn't be a pich-pich post, but I feel very pich-pichy. If you don't know what pich-pich is, well I'm too pichy to tell you, sorry :P

I'm lost basically. Yeah, great English! Sigh. I know what my problem is: I want instant gratification without any introspection or hard work. I'm avoiding the tasks that will make me introspect. And I'm feeling high or low depending on what the day brings. This should not be happening! It's funny what's bringing this on. So first there was happiness/satisfaction, then this became some form of unrest, and then action, and more unrest. Aarr! I'm also feeling very half-baked. And the solution or at least the path to a solution is right here apparently. Just within a few clicks and some hours of silence which I don't know I'll get and when I'll get them.

There are great things I can do altruistically but no, I want to do stupid things and be paid for them. Or be smart enough to do something great, but that's where all the half-baked doubts start coming in. Also, most importantly, I need to sleep better. Maybe I should just chuck all of this. It's becoming an addiction. YES! That's what it is. An addiction.That should explain the volatility. 

Sigh. I need some time off but I'm sure when I get it, I'll probably indulge in more instant gratification. 

Such as this post. When there is SO much to write about Sarah. Like her saying thank you on my behalf, or frowning at me to say sorry, or all the words she mispronounces (gop (godh), gavash (giraffe), katora (kotala), fondan (sabun). havash (high five), meemee/dishonaur (dinosaur)), libyayi), the cute things she says: "this is mumma chappal", no no, "don't do that", "Daddy I llav you", "husha beebee make a shond" (hush little baby, don't make a sound (current book and song obsession)), all the actions of the 'Wheels on the bus' song, bishbilla ameen (bismillah, ameen), her praying in front of me on the prayer mat, hugging my legs when I'm in the kitchen, extra laad with the daddy, her imitation of Ammaarah didi's videos, "nunu sogi, nanu sogi, Sarah sogi", playing with the Malay aunty next door and the things that irritate me: throwing her shoes away while we're out, randomly dropping anything that's in her hands, pulling my hair .. actually there's very little apart from these things that she does that *really* irritates me. Oh yeah, she makes calls with my phone. I'm trying to put a stop to that.

Okay, feeling less pichier. Time to wake up the baybee. Alhamdulillah for baby.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

18 things about a 17 month old

Sarah baby,

I'm sorry I've missed so many months and itty-bitty milestones over here. I don't want to get into excuses because you might wake up any time now... so here goes:

1. you're now toddling away, it was very penguin-like just a few days ago but it's getting better
2. You're picking up new words everyday. some of the words you mispronounce are just so  cute: bibbit (rabbit), beeps (grapes), mee mee (dinosaur (!!!)), phips (chips), laice (rice), pheesh (fish), phoos (phone), daddis (daddy)
3. You love to say 'anda' and nowadays your way of asking for breakfast has become: "Mamma!" "Anda?" "Sheesh? (cheese)", all done very quickly accompanied by vigorous nodding of the head. You also use these words to try to get out of naps, so I'll take you to the kitchen and you can start playing (See? I'm on to you!)
4. Like any other kid from your generation, you love screens and I'm trying to keep you away from them. But you still point to the ipad and go 'Bow bow? Bow bow?" over and over again. 
5. You can recognize most shapes and put the shape blocks in their correct places (yes, very nerdy achievement)
6. You recognize numbers too but not individually. Every number is called 'choo' (two)
7. You love reading books and recognize so many things. You LOVE the yellow rubber ducky and you even held the picture of one such ducky to your cheek and hugged it!
8. We took you to the zoo but couldn't spend enough time there :( Hopefully another time. Waiting to go to the bird park, think you'll go crazy with excitement 
9. You like to brush your teeth or rather chew on it. And you call it "chooshush"
10. You recognize the doctor and the salon lady
11. You love donuts and chips just like your mom. I wish I loved vegetables more :|
12. You love playing with older kids and will spontaneously hug them. Is there some way I could get you an older sibling? Maybe ask Blister to send Ammaarah over :D
13. Your favourite rhyme is 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star', and your favourite books are  'Tim's Birthday' and 'Miss Polly Had A Dolly'
14. You MUST chat with your nanu and baba everyday. And you get very excited when you see them and seem to want to go through the screen and into their arms. Makes me sad-happy
15. You love sitting in your high chair and reading. I think it gives you a good view of what your parents are up to and makes you feel more included
16. You love seeing cats and dogs when we go downstairs and are pretty good with saying hi to people too
17. You sleep between 11 and 12 at night and wake up around 10. If I get into bed with you at 10, you sleep longer. But then your naps get cut short. You're waking up about two times per night but  I"m more or less used to it now
18. Your first words in the morning are still either "Yeh kya hai?" pointing to things around the room or jabbing your finger in my eyes or yours and saying "Aaiss"

Okay, I've miraculously managed to type more than half of this post with you in my lap, alhamdulillah! And alhamdulilllah for you and your cuteness, my admiration for the human capacity to learn and the natural wonders around us has grown so much because of you. Glory be to Him who created us and everything around us.

I love you my little monster (you pull my hair and threaten to bite me :( )
Mamma